Some things are better one-sided: An water ice cream cone you don't desire to share, your high schoolhouse diary, and a game of solitaire—for case. But a healthy relationship? That's a two-sided state of affairs. Unfortunately, when you're stuck in a one-sided relationship, it's easy to fool yourself into thinking that what y'all're experiencing is normal—when information technology could actually be toxic, or even loveless, says Jill P. Weber Ph.D. clinical psychologist and author of Having Sexual practice, Wanting Intimacy: Why Women Settle for 1-Sided Relationships. And then how do you know if yous're giving more than you're getting? We asked the experts to share some tell-tale signs.

Yous're constantly second-guessing yourself.

Am I pretty enough? Smart enough? Funny enough? Weber says that if you find that you lot're repeatedly request yourself whether you lot live upwardly to your partner's expectations, it's possible that your relationship is one-sided. "You lot are focusing your attention and energy more on being liked than on truly beingness known and nurtured," she says. Instead, she recommends learning to exist accurate within yourself. In doing so, you will attract relationships that match the true yous.

You lot apologize more than you need to.

Certain, sometimes you're at fault. But if you end up saying yous're sorry EVERY. SINGLE. FIGHT it's time to take a deeper look at your relationship. Yous may think you're helping past non rocking the boat, but this kind of behavior is an unhealthy sign. "Avoiding conflict results in dismissing your own feelings," says Cori Dixon-Fyle, founder and psychotherapist at Thriving Path. Human relationship expert Dr. Juliana Morris agrees. "Disharmonize resolution in a relationship should exist a team arroyo," she says. "It should never be one person's responsibility."

Y'all're always making excuses for your partner.

Playing defense is proficient…on the soccer field. But if you're consistently justifying your partner's behavior to your circle of friends, family and work and so it's likely they are seeing something you lot are not. "In my former marriage, I remember often saying 'He'south only cranky today,'" says certified relationship proficient Keren Eldad. "Turns out, he was not. He was abusive." Eldad stresses, "If all the others in your life are alarmed, you lot may have reason to exist, as well."

You feel insecure nigh your relationship.

If you often question the status of your human relationship and are never truly at ease with your partner, and then that's a sign that you are in a i-sided human relationship, according to Weber. If you lot tin can't stop analyzing how you can be more alluring, and what you can say or wear to keep your partner desiring you, because you feel and then unsettled, that could be a ruby-red flag. To be all-consumed with the relationship is not only exhausting, it's not sustainable, Weber says. Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW, relationship expert and author agrees: "If you're constantly feeling depleted, y'all're working too hard in the relationship," she says.

Your partner's calendar takes priority.

Do you move your commitments around and/or wait until you lot know if your partner is available earlier y'all make other plans? When you lot feel like everything else is more important than you are, and so you're likely in a one-sided relationship, according to Morris. "At that place should be a counterbalanced adjustment to schedules," she says. Eldad agrees: "If your partner only wants to run into yous when information technology suits them, then there is inequity in the relationship," she says.

You do all of the heavy lifting.

Are yous the one making all the plans, doing all the chores, and remembering his grandmother'southward birthday? Asks Eldad. If so, consider stopping. "You are giving way too much and expecting likewise footling," she says. According to Ellen Chute, LMSW, "Often people give and requite with the unconscious expectation that the giving will be returned, just the other person never had those intentions." On the other hand, information technology'southward ok if your relationship goes through stages where ane partner seems to carry the load more than the other. "Many relationships feel 1-sided at points but often even out over time," she says.

And all the initiating.

You shouldn't have to beg for attention and affection. Texts, phone calls, seeing each other, getting intimate… "both parties should want to connect physically and emotionally," says Miller. "If you lot're looking at your friends' relationships and wishing yours was like theirs, or yous're wishing your partner would do the things your friend'southward partners do, that might exist a ruby flag," she says.

Your partner says you "desire likewise much".

Is it "too much" to want to spend the weekend together? "Too much" to want to meet his family? "Too much" to want to share emotions? Many partners in one-sided relationships are unwilling, or not interested, in giving more than, says Dixon-Fyle. And unfortunately, "the person that is least committed usually has the most power," she says.

Considering somehow, you lot're always wrong.

If y'all're in a 1-sided relationship, you lot may notice that when you finally get the courage to confront your partner most how you're feeling, the tables go turned…and you end up feeling like you're at fault. This strategy allows your partner to never take responsibility for the way their actions brand you lot feel, says Weber.

But in order to accept a good for you (ii-sided) relationship, it's necessary to feel comfy and safe expressing yourself. If you can't set up boundaries with with your partner's behaviors, y'all permit yourself to be treated badly with no consequence, says Chute.

Knowing is half the battle.

"Denial is a huge factor in what sustains one-sided relationships," says Weber. And then if you're reading this and thinking, 'uh-oh, this pretty much describes my relationship,' you're moving in the correct direction towards fixing things. Only now that y'all're aware…what's side by side?

You have the power to change things.

It may surprise you lot to know that it's not entirely your partner's fault: "People tend to attract the types of relationships they think they deserve," says Dixon-Fyle. "If someone is struggling with their own self-worth and cocky-acceptance, they tend to stay in one-sided relationships likewise long." The best way to fix this, co-ordinate to Weber, is to step away and work on your own cocky-growth, instead of trying to salve the human relationship. Dixon-Fyle agrees: "Your focus should exist on flourishing your own life, instead of allowing your partner to be the principal focus," she says. In other words, You Do You. The rest will come.

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